Recently, while traveling in India, I was confronted with the personal narrative of, “I need to do things alone.” Being a creature of solitude, I often genuinely enjoy being alone. I enjoy going at my own pace and doing my own thing but when you travel with a group, that is impossible. There is no me and I, there is a we and a collective plan where there are adjustments made to create the best outcome for all.
Many times, when I’m in solitude, I also find that I don’t need to express my heart to others. In me, this can come from a feeling of being unworthy and also a desire not to bother anyone. The truth is that, although we are doing the spiritual work and following our unique path within the privacy of our own hearts, we need other people to validate, and even guide us, in order to lift some of the veils we may have. During this trip, as we traveled together, people shared their hearts and, over time, I had to let down my guard, defenses and ego to let others in, releasing the narrative of “I am okay and can do this on my own.”
We are never alone, it is that illusion that we are that creates the feeling of separateness, the idea that this is me and this is you and this is the clear firm boundary.
As the trip continued, I began to share with others the layers of sorrow, fear and joy sitting at my heart and as they listened and held space I felt how, in this space, we are all held.
Letting go of being strong and assured and allowing for the space of not knowing and asking for help had its own peace and power.
We all need help sometimes. We are all interconnected and when we can revise our narratives to open to this more, we open to the possibility of greater liberation for the soul.
There is nothing like travel to push you towards shedding old habits and birthing a new way through life. Novelty is one of the ways that we can enrich our brain’s plasticity. When we are in new places our brain is actually hyper-aware and alert and, as we learn new things, we come into greater presence enriching new neural connections as we take in our surroundings through a lens of wonder. My experience in India was that “my” space and me-ness really does not exist. In the flow of people, the crowded nature and the organic movement of space and time, I felt the flow of us.